I Don't Like Your Girlfriend, Stan
by Angel of the Axis
Summary: After drinking WAY too many root beers, Stan has very crazy dreams that night... STYLE, one-sided K2. Anti-Stendy. Sorry, Stendy fans! Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Rated T for slight sexual themes and kissing, along with slight cuss words and mpreg in the SLIGHTEST. No smexy times this time. One-shot. Slight fluffiness!


**A/N: I honestly don't know where this came from. Oh! I remember! It was based off of the song 'Girlfriend' by Avril Lavigne. Enjoy!**

Stan was walking hand-in-hand with Wendy Testaburger, going to Stark's Pond for their weekly date.

Wendy giggled, gazing into Stan's cerulean orbs. Stan blushed and looked away.

Suddenly, 'Girlfriend' by Avril Lavigne came on from behind a boulder, and Kenny, Butters and Cartman appeared from behind that big boulder, with Kyle appearing in the middle of the quartet.

"_Hey, hey, you, you, I don't like your girlfriend!"_ Kyle started, dressed like a girl. He had on a stunning sparkling green spaghetti strap dress with a slit along the thigh along with green high heels. He didn't have his hat for once, but he had some makeup on.

"Kyle? What are…" Stan started.

"_No way! No way!"_ the rest echoed.

"_I think you need a new one."_ Kyle smirked, nodding along to the music.

"_Hey, hey, you, you!" _Kenny smirked at Stan, sending him eyebrow messages. Butters blushed, and Cartman looked outright pissed off.

"_I could be your girlfriend."_ Kyle walked up to Stan, having no trouble in the high heels, and got right up to his face.

Was he…?

No…!

Kyle was turning into a girl!

Kenny's eyes sparkled as he saw the mounds Kyle was growing. Cartman nudged his side and he kept singing, eyes on Kyle.

Wendy scoffed, flipping her hair. Kyle, now 'Kyla' glared at her, flipping her off.

"_Hey, hey, you, you!"_

"_I know that you like me," _Kyla leaned in, making Stan go red.

"_No way! No way!"_

"_I know it's not a secret." _Kyla murmured in his ear.

"_Hey, hey, you, you!"_

Kyla grinned. _"I want to be your girlfriend!"_

"_You're so fine, I want you mine, you're so delicious,"_ Kyla purred. _"I think about'cha all the time, you're so addictive. Don'cha know what I can do to make you feel all right?"_

Stan shivered in pleasure. Wendy looked on in horror.

"_Don't pretend, I think you know I'm damn precious,"_ Kyla smirked. _"And, Hell Yeah! I'm the motherfucking princess! I can tell you like me too, and you know I'm right."_

"_Cause she's _like, _**SO **whatever, you could do_ **_so much better._** _I think we should get together now. And that's what everyone's talkin' about!"_

The three behind the rock grinned.

"_Hey, hey, you, you!" _They sang out.

"_I don't like your girlfriend." _

"_No way! No way!"_

"_I think you need a new one."_

"_Hey, hey, you, you!"_

"_I could be your girlfriend!"_

"_Hey, hey, you, you!"_

"_I know that you like me," _Kyle grinned. _"I know it's not a secret."_

"_No way! No way!"_

"_I want to be your girlfriend!"_

Stan's eyes sparkled. Kyla sounded gorgeous! And she looked hot, too.

"_I can see the way, I see the way you look at me, and even when you look away, I know you think of me."_ Kyla smiled. _"I know you talk about me again and again!"_

Stan looked on in confusion. "How did you know that?"

"_So come over here, tell me what I wanna hear. Better yet, make your girlfriend disappear!"_ Kyla glared at Wendy. _"I don't wanna hear you say her name ever again!"_

Wendy whined. "Stanny, make her stop! She's ruining our date!"

Stan hissed, "Quiet! Just for a minute, Wendy."

"_Cause, she's like, **SO **whatever. You could do **so much better.** I think we should get together now,"_ Kyla threw up her arms. _"And that's what everyone's talkin' about!"_

"_Hey, hey, you, you!"_

"_I don't like your girlfriend." _Kyla sang with so much energy.

"_No way! No way!"_

"_I think you need a new one."_

"_Hey, hey, you, you!"_

"_I could be your girlfriend!" _She shot a charming smile at Stan, her dress glittering like stars under the light gaze of the moon.

"_Hey, hey, you, you!"_

"_I know that you like me,"_

"_No way! No way!"_

"_I know it's not a secret."_

"_Hey, hey, you, you!"_

"_I want to be your girlfriend!" _Kyla spun with ease in her green high heels, giving Kenny a secret message with her fingers. He nodded and whispered something in Butter's and Cartman's ears.

"_In a second, you'll be wrapped around my finger, cause I can, cause I can do it better." _Kyla snapped her fingers. _"There's no other, so when's it gonna sink in? She's so stupid, what the HELL were you thinkin'?!"_

Wendy gasped. "Stanny-!"

Stan didn't move.

"_In a second, you'll be wrapped around my finger, cause I can, cause I can do it better. There's no other, so when's it gonna sink in? She's so stupid, what the HELL were you thinkin'?!" _Kyla shot yet another glare at Wendy.

"_Hey, hey, you, you!"_

"_I don't like your girlfriend." _Kyla kissed Stan, much to Wendy's horror.

"_No way! No way!"_

"_I think you need a new one."_

"_Hey, hey, you, you!"_

"_I could be your girlfriend!"_ Kyla smiled, taking Stan for a dance.

"_Hey, hey, you, you!"_

"_I know that you like me."_

"_No way! No way!"_

"_I know it's not a secret."_

"_Hey, hey, you, you!"_

"_I want to be your girlfriend!" _Stan happily obliged, twirling Kyla in his arms.

"_Hey, hey, you, you!"_

"_I don't like your girlfriend." _Kyla's nimble fingers entwined in Stan's warm, strong hands, and the grass was their dance floor.

"_No way! No way!"_

"_I think you need a new one."_

"_Hey, hey, you, you!"_

"_I could be your girlfriend." _Kyla spun him around and around.

"_Hey, hey, you, you!"_

"_I know that you like me."_

"_No way! NO way!"_

"_I know it's not a secret."_

"_Hey, hey, you, you!"_

"_I want to be your girlfriend!" _The couple spun around so much, Kyla 'accidentally' knocked Wendy into the pond, ruining her overly generously showing purple dress.

"_Hey, hey! Hey EY!" _The trio sang out their last lines, while Stan spun Kyla around until he caught her in his arms. Both were panting, smiles on both their faces.

"Will you?"

"Huh?" Stan was so caught up in Kyla's beauty, he hardly heard her.

"I said, will you become my boyfriend?" Kyla smiled breathlessly up at him, and it made his heart flutter.

Stan was about to answer, when all of a sudden, Wendy shot up from the pond, furious.

"Stan! How could you? This was supposed to be the date where you proposed to me!" Wendy shrieked, splashing water onto Stan and Kyla.

Kyla rolled her eyes. "Stan, Wendy's been cheating on you with Kenny. Just thought you should know."

Both Wendy and Kenny visibly paled.

"Oh, shit." Both muttered at the same time.

Stan glared at Wendy. "Wendy, we're done. Go home."

Wendy felt tears prickle at her eyes. "Wh-what?"

Stan glared even more so at her. "You heard me! Go!"

Kyla smirked, and gave her the middle finger as she ran by.

Stan sighed. "And to answer your question, yes."

Kyla squealed as the couple shared a deep, passionate kiss under the full moon. The moon reflected off the water made it even more beautiful, and the three friends behind the rock all had different reactions.

Kenny blinked, having a nosebleed. "Wow. Dude, that's hot."

Butters sighed. "So romantic."

Cartman sneered. "Looks like that fucking Jewrat and Marsh were fags after all! Total blackmail."

As Kenny died from blood loss and the couple kissed, everything went black…

* * *

Stan shot up in bed, gasping and blinking.

Kyle, who was next to him in bed, let out a muffled, "You okay, Stan?"

Stan slowly craned his neck toward Kyle and screamed.

Kyle shot up, eyes wild. "What's happening?!"

Stan slowly fell off the bed with a dull _thump_, the exact reaction when he realized…

"THERE'S A FUCKING WEDDING RING ON MY FINGER! OH MY GOD!"

Kyle leaned over, picking him up. "Careful, silly! Don't wanna hurt yourself."

It was then Stan realized…

"Kyle! OH MY GOD, man! Are you…Pregnant?!" He shrieked.

Kyle nodded with a smile, rubbing his stomach. "Yup! And they're yours. We're having triplets, remember?"

With that, Stan fainted.

* * *

"AAH! KYLE, OH MY _GOD_!" Stan shot up in bed, screaming.

Kyle shot up next to him, clinging to him. "What's wrong?! Is Cartman taping us so he can blackmail us again?"

Stan hugged Kyle hard, causing him to choke out, "Stan…help. Can't breathe."

Stan released him, only to hug him again, only gentler.

"You'll NEVER believe the dreams I just had," He said, seriously.

Kyle rolled his eyes, but smiled. "Alright, I believe we have time."

THE END…OR IS IT?


End file.
